I’ve been reading up on relationships and how to deal with them, marriages and break ups. I’ve been trying to work out what it is that I need to do to change the way I am thinking and acting. I happen to come across this article about 10 things that couples do to screw up their marriage and I am not going to lie, I am guilty of some of them as I’m sure 99% of the population is too.
That loving feeling
A loving relationship requires attention and nurturing to make it last. Couples often don’t realise how they are hurting their marriage until significant damage is done. As the Righteous Brothers sang, “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling…Now it’s gone…gone…gone.”
Here are the most common things that people do to lose that loving feeling.
1. Attack Each Other
Many people don’t know how to resolve their differences. They often resort to character assassination and yelling when they disagree.
On the other hand, some people withdraw from conflict and quit talking. Then the ice storm sets in and communication shuts down.
3. Fight about money
Couples frequently disagree about how to spend their money. Many times people have different interests and priorities. If they are not able to resolve this, it can become a source of strife.
4. Have an affair
An affair, whether emotional or physical, can be one of the most devastating events for a marriage. Recovering from an affair is a process that takes a lot of forgiveness, work, commitment, and time.
5. Quit dating their mate
Early in a relationship, most couples want to spend every waking moment together. They make time to romance each other. The flame burns hot.
However, over time they get caught up with their careers and children. It becomes easy to forget about romance and the flame burns out.
6. Anger and Resentment
Have you ever been hurt by something your spouse said or did? Of course you have! However, if you don’t forgive your mate, then the hurt can turn into anger and resentment. This creates a wall of division.
7. Ignore the relationship
Many relationships end because couples stop investing themselves in the relationship. Over time, they stop having anything in common and drift apart.
8. Start taking each other for granted
People stop treating each other special and eventually their marriage loses that special quality.
9. Couples don’t “leave and cleave”
A number of couples never break the ties to their families. Therefore, they never learn rely on each other. This becomes evident during difficult times when they tend to run back home instead of to their mate.
10. Manipulation and control
Some people try to manipulate their partner with ultimatums, guilt, and tantrums to get their way. This might be effective short-term, but it erodes the foundation of the relationship and leads to resentment.
Don’t let the love slip away
A loving relationship is one of the most precious gifts in life. These are 10 things that you can avoid to help protect that bond. “We had a love…you don’t find every day, so don’t let it slip away.” (Righteous Brothers)