The Holstee Manifesto

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1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them. Compile photo evidence.
2. Go to a major chain bookstore and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favourite books.
3. Have her dressed up as a ghost and you dress up as Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands. Whenever anyone sees you two pretend to be embarrassed and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka”.
4. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen.
5. Dress up as superheroes and stop at least one petty crime. i.e. jaywalking or littering e.t.c.
6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets then wage war with paper airplanes.
7. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night. Turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
8. Go to the airport and get the cheapest, soonest departing flight anywhere. When you show up stay there for a weekend.
9. Write a piece of fiction together, outside at a café. Ask strangers for help when you get stuck.
10. Dress to the nines, pretend to be married and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.
11. Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!
12. In the middle of the night drive to the beach so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.
13. Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to, with fake names.
14. Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jacks.
15. Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things.
16. Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras.
17. With a camera and a pair of boots, make a photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.
18. Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn.
19. Go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.
20. Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set it on mute and improvise the dialogue.

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1. Fine
   This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes
   If she is getting dressed, this means a half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing
   This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end fine.
4. Go Ahead
   This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!
5. Loud Sigh
   This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).
6. That’s Okay
   This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks
   A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here; This is true, unless she says “Thanks a lot”, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “You’re welcome”. That will bring on a “Whatever”).
8. Whatever
   Is a woman’s way of saying “F*** YOU!”
9. Don’t worry about it, I got it
   Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?”. For the woman’s response refer to #3.

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That loving feeling
A loving relationship requires attention and nurturing to make it last. Couples often don’t realise how they are hurting their marriage until significant damage is done. As the Righteous Brothers sang, “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling…Now it’s gone…gone…gone.”

Here are the most common things that people do to lose that loving feeling.

1. Attack Each Other
Many people don’t know how to resolve their differences. They often resort to character assassination and yelling when they disagree.

2. Withdraw
On the other hand, some people withdraw from conflict and quit talking. Then the ice storm sets in and communication shuts down.

3. Fight about money
Couples frequently disagree about how to spend their money. Many times people have different interests and priorities. If they are not able to resolve this, it can become a source of strife.

4. Have an affair
An affair, whether emotional or physical, can be one of the most devastating events for a marriage. Recovering from an affair is a process that takes a lot of forgiveness, work, commitment, and time.

5. Quit dating their mate
Early in a relationship, most couples want to spend every waking moment together. They make time to romance each other. The flame burns hot.

However, over time they get caught up with their careers and children. It becomes easy to forget about romance and the flame burns out.

6. Anger and Resentment
Have you ever been hurt by something your spouse said or did? Of course you have! However, if you don’t forgive your mate, then the hurt can turn into anger and resentment. This creates a wall of division.

7. Ignore the relationship
Many relationships end because couples stop investing themselves in the relationship. Over time, they stop having anything in common and drift apart.

8. Start taking each other for granted
People stop treating each other special and eventually their marriage loses that special quality.

9. Couples don’t “leave and cleave”
A number of couples never break the ties to their families. Therefore, they never learn rely on each other. This becomes evident during difficult times when they tend to run back home instead of to their mate.

10. Manipulation and control
Some people try to manipulate their partner with ultimatums, guilt, and tantrums to get their way. This might be effective short-term, but it erodes the foundation of the relationship and leads to resentment.

Don’t let the love slip away
A loving relationship is one of the most precious gifts in life. These are 10 things that you can avoid to help protect that bond. “We had a love…you don’t find every day, so don’t let it slip away.” (Righteous Brothers)

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• In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.
• In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal.
• In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.
• In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.
• In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks.
• In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%.
• In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.
• In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
• In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
• In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.

So as you can see there is some immediate things to look forward to when quitting smoking, not just the long term. So what are you waiting for? You can quit now.

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I have changed the wording to Australian English instead of American English to suit.

A child says to his Mum “Mummy I coloured your sheets with lipstick”, with anger she starts to hit her child until he was unconscious. Then she regrets what she had done, and crying says to her child, “please open your eyes”, but it was to late. His tiny heart stopped beating. When she walked in to her bedroom, the sheet said “I LOVE YOU MUMMY”.

You can also check out the Prevent Child Abuse website for more information on how you can stop child abuse.

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This year will be by far the best Christmas yet. We’ve had the kids full-time now for almost 9 months and they are very happy. My Sister and her Husband are moving up here today and are going to be staying with us for a couple of months. That means our big family has just grown by two!

It will be our first Christmas as a married couple, Cayden’s first Christmas and the first time we don’t have to share the kids! This has made me quite happy since Chell is a lot happier this year knowing this.

We’re going to have a nice big Christmas lunch and a swim in the pool (what else would you do on Christmas in 30 degree heat?). I’m looking forward to the kids opening their presents from us and Santa (we can’t give Santa all the credit, right?).

I’m not sure what else to write, all I can say is I’m definitely looking forward to this Christmas and many more. I have such a great family and can’t wait until Saturday!

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Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son, I’m a loving husband.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

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- That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do love each other.

- That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

- That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

- That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

- That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

- That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

- That you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

- That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

- That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

- That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

- That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

- That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

- That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

- That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

- That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

- That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

- That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

- That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

- Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

- That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

- That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

- That credentials on the wall do not necessarily make you a decent human being.

- That family is the most important thing in the world.

- That you should be as generous as you can afford to be, because there are so many people in the world who have nothing.

- That a smile can open so many doors.

- That missing someone you will never see again gets harder with time, rather than easier.

- That the people you care about most in life are usually taken from you too soon.

- The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything.

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What can I say? He is amazing and can make you feel so many different emotions all in an instance. The journey has only just started and has been such a roller-coaster already!

He’s been waking up every 2 hours at night and has only just started getting into a 2 hour-3 hour-2 hour sleep pattern but is still getting unsettled. I think we’ve worked out that he enjoys warmer bottles as they seem to settle him better.

The kids are just as good as when I first moved here. They love Cayden and fight over who gets to hold him. You can see Tiana is going to be a caring Mother as she gets Cayden’s bottle and tries feeding him when he cries in his bouncer. It’s cute!

I love when Cayden is laying on my chest in bed and he lifts his head and looks at me and slightly smiles it just makes me forget everything that is going on around me and I feel enchanted by his eyes.

It’s been a great ride and I am definitely looking forward to many more years ahead. It’s not only me, it’s the kids and Chell too. It’s my family and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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